This is a serious request. I understand ultimately that the answer to my problem is to try things and fail until I find something that works, but even a small nudge or boost in the right direction could make a difference to me.
I am a pretty creative person, and I am always extrapolating ideas, generating possibilities, foreseeing potential outcomes, or contemplating the complexity of factors that might have gone into something that seems simple, at face value. These are abstract ways to describe just SOME of the noise going on in my head. Right now, I don’t have a sufficient outlet for my creative energy, it’s literally just noise in my head that I can’t sort. This has a really detrimental effect on my well being.
I have a couple of loose narratives in mind that I mull over constantly, and seem like they would be good stories to tell. I take a lot of notes, make loose timelines, write dialog snippets. However, I’ve no practice writing stories that are cohesive from start to finish. Evocative vignettes, I’m your gal. But I want to actually see a story through to some form of completion, as a way to share my ideas. Every day I encounter things that make me feel that it is vital for me to express my perspective, but I don’t even know where to start.
I haven’t been able to decide whether to stick to some kind of prose or try to do a sequential visual thing. I can’t GET that far, because I don’t know how to sort my ideas or commit to a firm narrative. The advice is always practice, practice, just do it, etc, but I’m looking for any kind of guidance on how to craft stories, PRACTICALLY. Obviously you can take classes for this sort of thing, so there is information to learn that isn’t just about practice. I know I need to experiment and just try, but it is difficult to begin when I feel hopeless about ever achieving my goals. If anyone has recommendations for resources that might speak to some of these issues, I would be most appreciative.
There are some other issues that hold back my creativity that truly are just my own to conquer. I have difficulty creating fiction that includes love relationships (of any kind) outside of best friendships, because my own ability to relate to others feels kind of poisoned. My lack of trust and personal defensiveness makes it hard to forgive characters and let them be, well, people. I’m sure there’s an audience for a story about friends who just endure torment after torment in an otherwise loveless world (boy, am I sure), but that’s not really what I’m hoping to accomplish. The other problem is that I have trouble trusting myself or believing that anything I create could have any merit, period. This is something that was ingrained in me as a young person and is difficult to switch off, but every day I’m fighting that fight, so I can only hope that organizational strategies and learning how to focus will help me overcome.
Some people enjoy being objectified. Being an object isn’t inherently bad, if the autonomous, thinking, feeling, human being likes their body being framed in that context. Some people feel the body they have been given is a gift that they want to share, but being that they OWN their OWN body, they get to set the terms.