beauty in the eye

This blog is dedicated to (mostly) my personal work, (mostly) drawings and photography.

My favorite/prettiest/best images and art tumblr: commediadella
My bratty attitude and fandom tumblr:idlychildish (maybe NSFW...)

how do you tell a story?

This is a serious request. I understand ultimately that the answer to my problem is to try things and fail until I find something that works, but even a small nudge or boost in the right direction could make a difference to me.

I am a pretty creative person, and I am always extrapolating ideas, generating possibilities, foreseeing potential outcomes, or contemplating the complexity of factors that might have gone into something that seems simple, at face value. These are abstract ways to describe just SOME of the noise going on in my head. Right now, I don’t have a sufficient outlet for my creative energy, it’s literally just noise in my head that I can’t sort. This has a really detrimental effect on my well being.

I have a couple of loose narratives in mind that I mull over constantly, and seem like they would be good stories to tell. I take a lot of notes, make loose timelines, write dialog snippets. However, I’ve no practice writing stories that are cohesive from start to finish. Evocative vignettes, I’m your gal. But I want to actually see a story through to some form of completion, as a way to share my ideas. Every day I encounter things that make me feel that it is vital for me to express my perspective, but I don’t even know where to start.

I haven’t been able to decide whether to stick to some kind of prose or try to do a sequential visual thing. I can’t GET that far, because I don’t know how to sort my ideas or commit to a firm narrative. The advice is always practice, practice, just do it, etc, but I’m looking for any kind of guidance on how to craft stories, PRACTICALLY. Obviously you can take classes for this sort of thing, so there is information to learn that isn’t just about practice. I know I need to experiment and just try, but it is difficult to begin when I feel hopeless about ever achieving my goals. If anyone has recommendations for resources that might speak to some of these issues, I would be most appreciative.

There are some other issues that hold back my creativity that truly are just my own to conquer. I have difficulty creating fiction that includes love relationships (of any kind) outside of best friendships, because my own ability to relate to others feels kind of poisoned. My lack of trust and personal defensiveness makes it hard to forgive characters and let them be, well, people. I’m sure there’s an audience for a story about friends who just endure torment after torment in an otherwise loveless world (boy, am I sure), but that’s not really what I’m hoping to accomplish. The other problem is that I have trouble trusting myself or believing that anything I create could have any merit, period. This is something that was ingrained in me as a young person and is difficult to switch off, but every day I’m fighting that fight, so I can only hope that organizational strategies and learning how to focus will help me overcome.

my very real Friday night

my very real Friday night

you can see how excited I am

you can see how excited I am

Sunday night at the MLC

Sunday night at the MLC

a different Saturday night

a different Saturday night

nanashijones:

graphitedoll:

"True Love comes in many forms"

since i’ve equated a few of my favorite dreamworks movies to celestial bodies, i wanted to do something similar with a few disney/pixar movies that i love and love seems to be just the right theme !!

remember to buy gifts for your mom! there’s only 1 week left to prepare !!

Because pictures always help with learning! Especially pretty pictures!

I just had something on my mind and I just said it. And that’s really the foreshadowing of my entire career and my entire life. When I have something to say, I’ll say it.

(Source: bionicwasok, via russmarshalek)

It is very telling that

Playboy is getting it right.  You know, with their saying that you shouldn’t look at nude photos that were obtained and disseminated without consent.
Here is a brand that was built on the objectification of women for the pleasure of voyeuristic men (and women).  But, here are some key points:

Some people enjoy being objectified.  Being an object isn’t inherently bad, if the autonomous, thinking, feeling, human being likes their body being framed in that context.  Some people feel the body they have been given is a gift that they want to share, but being that they OWN their OWN body, they get to set the terms.  
Bodies are delightful, as is sex.  Liking to look at bodies, or having sex, is good, fine, and normal.  Again, when the autonomous, thinking, feeling, human beings involved are enjoying sharing their body or having sex.
Someone who makes a living by letting others look at them in certain contexts is not obligated to make their body or image accessible to anyone else at all times.  They are allowed to choose what will be public and what will be private.  Your relationship with their image is not a relationship with the autonomous, thinking, feeling human being that they are, with a deep inner emotional world that is as complex and nuanced as your very own.
If you think someone having consensual fun with a lover that includes taking pictures is somehow on the same level as stealing private images of someone in their most vulnerable state and sharing publicly, with impunity, you need to re-evaluate your moral center. You also need to get real.  There are things you say and do with your closest confidantes that you would not say or do with strangers.  If you think that a woman enjoying sex in her private life is doing something wrong, you need to re-evaluate your attitude towards women, their sexuality, and really take a hard look at what is ANY of your business in terms of what other people do in their personal lives.
Cameras are a part of our human experience.  Technology changes what it means to be human, how we conduct ourselves.  Taking pictures to share with a lover, one on one, is a normal, perfectly reasonable act.  If you are too prudish to approve of using photography to augment sex acts, then surely you should be of the mind that stealing is wrong.  Because one of those things actively victimizes another person, and the other is a playful and human behavior between consenting adults, even if you personally find it tacky.
Right?
Anyway, I’ve had personal pictures stolen and posted and I feel most fortunate that I am not famous.  That didn’t stop it from feeling absolutely horrible, revolting, shameful, humiliating, and violating.  Do I need to apologize for being in an adult relationship and goofing off with a camera, using technology to capture a vital and normal part of the human experience?  No. I will say to any young women, BE CAREFUL.  I still don’t know how those things got out of my hands, and I doubt I ever will.  Have fun, but BE CAREFUL.  There are bad people who will hurt you, and given that in this situation they don’t actually have to see your suffering, it feels like a casual act compared to physically harming you.  It’s not casual, it’s so rude and gross and wrong.  But don’t for a minute think that you owe anyone anything when it comes to making decisions about your body and sexuality.  Don’t let fear stifle your life’s expression.  Just know that we as a species have serious empathy problems, that we violate and victimize eachother, and that doing so via the remote, shared psychic space of the Internet has made it easier than ever before to attack someone’s mental and emotional well being without having to actually deal with the consequences that would unfold if they were physically present.  And know that sadly, someone you trust today may betray you in the future.  Don’t hand off your power.  Stay strong, and if you can slip in some brief moments of fun and pleasure after wading through all the bullshit, GOOD FOR YOU.  
surely this makes up for my gratuitous mouth. looks ugly but is prettier than my insides.

surely this makes up for my gratuitous mouth. looks ugly but is prettier than my insides.

just pictures of this mug. sending love out into the world, hope you all feel it.

just pictures of this mug. sending love out into the world, hope you all feel it.

candy. I feel weird because this is so my mouth, but it is such iconic imagery.

candy. I feel weird because this is so my mouth, but it is such iconic imagery.

good day to be a dawg (and cute)

good day to be a dawg (and cute)